Go Heather Go!!!

Re-energized, re-inspired, and ready to go!!! Whew! After a week or so of feeling badly I am happy to report that I have re-focused on the things that are important and am ready to be a part of the solution again!

Life is so amazing and unpredictable. It really is crazy how quickly life changes. One simple phone call, a new perspective, even a new person walking into your life and life as we know it is never the same. It is part of the excitement of living and also the part that is terrifying. I think it depends on how open you are to see and experience these things when they show up. Sometimes we are so focused on other things we miss opportunities or they come up in inconvenient times and we let them pass us by. I feel like my life has changed at least 25 times this week. Ok, a bit of an exaggeration but it sure feels that way. I'm not necessarily talking huge monumental changes but as sit quietly and watch my life I realize how affected I am by the amazing people and experiences I am lucky enough to have around me. Thank you for continuing to challenge me, teach me, inspire me, and most of all illustrate to me that life is exactly what you make it.

On that note, I promised an update on my dear friend Heather. I am so happy to report that she not only finished her first triathlon but absolutely demolished it! She is currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer and had a chemo treatment on Friday and competed on Sunday. Amazing!!! She is a perfect example of making life her own; despite the curve balls she has been thrown. She is such a positive, strong, and determined person. I admire her tremendously. It was also great to have a reunion of sorts with everyone from her original Rock N Roll San Diego Marathon team. We got to catch up as we cheered Heather in and out of the pool and through transition. I am lucky to have met such unique and special women. They also inspire me. Each one has said enough is enough; I am going to do something. I can no longer sit on the sidelines and watch anyone else suffer. They drive me to be a better person, to do more, to care more, and to keep my heart open even when it feels like I want to shut it off to the world.

Not to get overly cheesy but I think Forrest Gump was right. You never know what you are going to get in life. But maybe that is not the important part. Maybe the important part is what you decide to do with what you have. Let's decide to have a world without cancer.

Please Forgive Me

People are disappointing. A wise man once said, “hell is others” that is exactly how I am feeling. Please be forewarned, this post may be a little whinny overly emotional and possibly angry. However, I must get it off my chest. Hopefully I can move towards peace once again after I get it all out. So bear with me. I haven’t written in a couple of weeks and I have to admit I have lacked some serious inspiration. I feel like a little donkey headed for the bottom of the Grand Canyon, saddled and fatigued.

Relationships of any kind are difficult. When a friend you thought “would always be there” is nowhere near in a time of need. Disappointing. When you have their best interest at heart and it is not returned. Disappointing. The list goes on and on. I am sure we can all relate. I know I have been let down and in return let my best of friends down. It happens.

I am talking more about the little day to day things that can pile up and leave me or anyone feeling this way. If you think I don’t hear your comments, I assure you I do. If you think I don’t see your actions, I see them clearly. Your silence screams indifference, and I have to admit breaks my heart a bit.

Relationships are the only thing we really have in this life. Show up for people. Be aware. I carry my friendship around like a sword. I protect myself with the comfort in knowing, “I don’t have to be your friend” hurt me and we’re no longer buddies. It’s so easy to unfriend people; just a simple click of the mouse and it’s done. I realize that is simply no way to live.

It would be unfair to say this is always my experience. Over the last few weeks there have been many great acts of friendship. For those I will always be grateful. For those who have disappointed me and even hurt me, I want you to know I am laying down the sword. I am here and will always be here. Everything that I am asking of you, I will do my best to give to you. If you are reading this and you are feeling affected, I am talking to you. Let’s be careful how we treat each other and lay our swords down together. Today.

And now, back to saving lives... =)